STOP PANIC BUYING

I don't alarm easily.  Long ago I realized that the news media LOVES plane crashes and hopes to gain readership by playing up the horror.  Remember the Don Henley line from “Dirty Laundry”: “The bubble-headed bleach blond comes on at 5:00 and can tell you about the plane crash with a gleam in her eye.” What the reader/viewer never learns is that there were 39,999 other flights that day which arrived safely though drunk passengers may have made other passengers uncomfortable. Coronavirus is serious but 98 - 99% of the folks who catch it will live and a majority of those who die will have other compromising conditions to begin with. We are NOT facing armageddon. 

I went to the Lake Grove, New York Costco on Wednesday, March 11. I wanted to buy broccoli, half-and-half, paper plates, 2.75 reading glasses (it is tough to get old) and a corned beef on the outside chance we are still alive on St. Patrick’s Day. See pictures of Costco taken Friday.  No "panic buying for me.” Panic buying is nonsense and according to both retailers and manufacturers, unnecessary.  It is immoral and macro-economically counter-productive and stupid. My trip was for just usual purchases. I actually like broccoli but ten 3# sacks probably would have spoiled before I could have eaten them. So, I bought one pack, like I usually do.  And since I use a quart of half and half about every three weeks, more than one quart would not have been wise. I bought no water or toilet paper. I am neither dehydrated or dirty. The customers were lined up back to the MEAT DEPARTMENT. I spoke with a cool Irish guy (actually from Ireland) who was loading his cart in to his car and after we were done talking about Ireland I took his cart. In the entire lot there were no carts available.  He was not panic buying and a nice guy. He should be able to isolate for a month.

Costco was accommodating beyond anything I had ever seen before in retail.  All or nearly all registers were staffed. The membership card checker at the door was waving people in without checking their cards.  I don't know but suspect the store opened early. Staff were replenishing shelves as quickly as humanly possible. I wandered the aisles slowly; though I am very energetic for my age I am retired and I enjoy seeing the products Costco has. I had to dodge people who were speed-walking and whose eyes were glazed over.  All the while, these people with glazed eyes, moving at a breakneck pace were panic buying...especially the usual, toilet paper and water (I don't like the taste of Saint James (NY) Water but I never suspected it is unhealthy or we might run out of it).

I put only two items in my cart,  broccoli and 1/2 and 1/2. Seeing the line had not diminished I returned the items to their proper spots (a loathsome trait of Long Islanders is to decide they don't want an item and they leave it anywhere even if it is perishable.  Remember, any item you don't return an employee has to return). I left, giving my cart to two young kids who were just realizing there weren't any carts available. I guess I could have expected a tip but money has never motivated me. Have to think about that.  We retirees have to look to catch a spare dime wherever possible.

Here is my bottom line and there is no humor here.  If you are a panic buyer, you are selfish and don't ever look in the mirror and declare yourself to be your "brothers' keeper" because all you are doing is making sure you survive even if all others dehydrate, with dirty derrieres.  When you make the choice to buy twice or three times what you need "because the store might run out," and others are doing the same, the store does then run out of the item. See? You are right after all. Grow up, protect yourself reasonably but stop with the conclusion that you are the only people in the country who deserve bottled water or toilet paper.  While it must be nice to know that while you are in bed you will remain hydrated and your butt will be clean, think about others who might have to do without because of your selfishness.

Cowboy Up!